The perfect retreat, and a great review

A couple of months ago on Strictly Writing, I wrote about how I’d love to go on a retreat – provided it wasn’t the scary kind where there are lots of other writers and you have to, you know, talk to them and share the cooking and stuff.

I wanted a retreat where I could simultaneously be left to my own devices and be looked after. And now I think I’ve found it: look at this!

They even have wi-fi and everything, and so few people staying there at any one time that the likelihood of there being a nutcase to latch onto me is diminished. And what a bargain price – if I understand it correctly, that includes all the food.

The paradox is that if I had the time or family circumstances to be able to go on a retreat, I wouldn’t need to go on one. At the moment, I think my son is too little to be left for that long, and I would really miss him. But just imagining going is making me feel more relaxed, so maybe one day I’ll manage to get there.

Deborah Dooley, the journalist who offers the retreats, has recently started a blog at: http://retreatsforyou.blogspot.com/

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And in other news, I’ve had a wonderfully detailed and thoughtful review of Kill-Grief from Anne Brooke, author of Maloney’s Law.

From the very first sentence, this book wraps you round in a coat of darkness, tension, low-life street horror and kick-ass descriptive poetry strong enough to obliterate several countries and still have time for a gin or two.

To read the full review, visit Vulpes Libris.

Tightrope-walking Horse

Never let it be said that the quality of this blog is going downhill…

 

While we’re on the subject of horses, the Tree Creature of Doom  now appears to have turned into one…

Keep up to out of date with the newsflash

An article about me in the Chester Chronicle has been amusingly plagiarised by a weird French-Canadian blog that for some reason trawls the internet for anything to do with Waterstone’s.

Here is the Chronicle’s original article.

And here is how the weird blog (which I won’t link to because I don’t want to encourage them) posted it after seemingly running it through Babelfish a few times:

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Wirral architect Caroline Rance signs copies of adventures Kill-Grief inspired sooner than Chester Infirmary in Waterstones, Chester – Chester Chronicle

mai 14th, 2009 by waterstones

Author Caroline Rance was at Waterstones, Chester, on Saturday, May 2, to notice copies of her inauguration catch Kill-Grief.

Caroline said: The catch signing was not counting, it went at bottom in fine. We about sold in glom of books on the descend of day.

It follows the biography of a litter Wirral piece of prove satisfactory who takes a hire as a keep alive to go by escape untroubled her dubious life.

Several people said they had seen the article in with reference to to the catch signing in the Chronicle and were extremely interested it was elevate in Chester.

The catch takes a look into the disagreeable just ecstatic of Chester Infirmary, based in St Marton’s Fields, in the 18th century. She ends up seeking farther pretext in rotgut gin – the ‘kill-grief’ of the caption.

Caroline, raised in Irby, Wirral, wishes be returning to Chester in October to devour into a collect in the Chester Literature Festival.

The sights, sounds and smells of 1750s Chester are brought to emotion as the ballerina searches in have to do with to a unclear irons who has been following her, and visits the horrific dungeons of the antediluvian Northgate Gaol.

Keep up to out of date with the newsflash.

 ———–

I like the poetic turn of phrase. I wish I’d really thought of saying “We about sold in glom of books on the descend of day.” How literary and melancholy. And I’m sure looking forward to devouring into a collect in October.

Something like this also happened recently to one of Sam Tonge’s posts on Strictly Writing, and while the phenomenon produces funny results and is not as annoying as someone copying an article outright and presenting it as their own, it’s also kind of pointless. If they are trying to drive traffic to another site, how does it actually work?

Run, don’t walk, from the Tree Creature of Doom!

This is kind of like a Rorschach test, but really, does this look like a normal tree to you? I took this pic in Pepperboxes Wood, Great Missenden, about a week ago, and haven’t adjusted the contrast or anything else.

I’m going to send this thing round to tap on the window of the next person who asks me a lame computer question that they could answer in two seconds by clicking “Help”.

Kill-Grief Launch

My official book launch went brilliantly! I arrived at the library to find a huge bouquet of flowers from my lovely agent, Judith, who wanted to be there but was ill on the day. My house is now beautifully fragrant, with not only these:

 

but also these gorgeous white freesias from my friend Sarah:

There was a bit of setting up to do, but everything was just about under control by the time guests started to arrive. I intended to do my reading at about half past two, but there were still people flocking in and lots of books to be signed, so it wasn’t until about 3 o’clock that I got a chance to read. My dad read out a lovely message from Corinne Souza at Picnic Publishing, then I did a couple of short extracts from the book, which seemed to go down pretty well.

There must have been about 40-50 people there, and I sold 35 copies. Plus everyone loves a free gift, so I had some miniatures of “Kill-Grief” gin for guests to take home!

 

Unfortunately there is only one photo of the actual day. I didn’t think I’d have time to take any, and couldn’t exactly take some of myself reading anyway, so I left my camera at home and asked someone else, who shall remain nameless, to take pictures as I’d need some for my website and to send to the local paper. They took a grand total of… none. Not even the useless fuzzy kind that I normally take.

My mum took this one, though, and as you can see I decided against the red dress I bought in Oxfam a few weeks ago. It was a nice dress, but frankly would have needed some very heavy-duty foundation garments, so I went with this less clingy ensemble instead!

Who would have thought that signing a few books and reading out a few hundred words would be so physically and mentally demanding? Now I’m exhausted and feel like taking to my bed for a few days, like those women in costume dramas after they’ve been out in the rain.

My first signing

Well, by “my first signing” I don’t mean the very first time I’ve ever signed my name in my book – I have done that a few times in the privacy of my own home. I mean a real signing – as in, sitting at a table in a bookshop and hoping strangers will not be so terrified by my lack of make-up-putting-on skills that they spin round and exit the shop.

The event was at Waterstone’s, Eastgate Row, Chester, which is rather apt, because the first scene of the book takes place more or less right outside the door. This didn’t occur to me when I was writing it, because that was so long ago now that even finishing the book seemed impossibly distant, let alone the idea of it being on sale.

I was quite nervous – not so much about the signing itself, as about getting there from Bucks by 11am. Beyond that, I knew how signings went – the writer sits there and gets embarrassed as punters skirt round warily or march up insisting on their money back for a cookbook they bought three months ago.

So as I settled down at my table, in a great spot that everyone had to walk past to get to the tills, I was quite relaxed and didn’t feel like a wally at all. The friendly shop staff brought me a big cup of coffee, and shortly afterwards Ian, the photographer from the Chester Chronicle, arrived to take pictures, which must have made the customers wonder if I was some kind of celeb or something, because they started to look more closely at my display of books. I’d already been in the Chronicle two days before, with a pic I took myself, (see below) so it looks like I will be in it 2 weeks running, which is great.

After Ian had gone, I smiled at a pleasant-looking elderly gentleman who, without saying a word, placed a Fox’s Glacier Fruit in front of me. Could this prove to be my Lucky Sweet? I’ll keep it forever.

Then Yvonne, one of Chester’s city guides, purposefully headed towards me and said she wanted to buy my book. I was quite taken aback at the thought of someone I didn’t actually know being remotely interested, so when I tried to sign it, my hand was jerking all over the place with nerves. Yvonne kindly stood back while I attempted to scratch my name onto the page. Next time I’m going to spend a few minutes writing on a pad beforehand, to “warm up”!

During the time I was there, I chatted to lots of people, sold lots of books and caught up with some relatives and friends who had popped in to see me. Waterstone’s staff were all lovely, and I wish I’d had more of a chance to talk to them individually. By 1pm, there were only two books left on the display stand, so all in all a pretty successful, and fun, couple of hours!

Chester Chronicle, 30 April 2009